snarfois: "Still slow. 30-60 seconds to load a page.

Got 2 different Cloudflare error pages when trying to load pages:
SSL Handshake Failed (Error code 525)
Web server is returning an unknown error (Error code 520)"

Anyone else getting errors or site slowness? Please comment if so!

at: "I’ll put in a plug for a lightweight laptop"

Please note that OP is looking for desktop recommendations. Leaving this comment up as possible suggestion for OP.

pdb: "This is a really fun question, but doesn't it belong in Ask, not here?"

There's no specific problem to be solved, which AskMe is for, so am keeping it in MeTa.

DeepSeaHaggis: "Get fucked, punk. I fucking hate you." Please consider skipping a thread if all you have offer is disparaging comments about the subject and its fans. MetaFilter is all about having conversation, so just posting about how you hate something doesn't help any discussion. It just derails it or stops it cold. Let people enjoy the things they like. Move on if you do not like it or at least add to the discussion by offering something more than "I hate you". If you can't do that, we may have to remove your comments or yourself from the thread or site.

Another comment removed for revealing something that happens in the next episode.

With each arc being released in 3 episode drops, it can be difficult to keep straight what happens from episode to episode. No worries, just do the best you can and if something is revealed, just flag it and the mods will take fix it.

constraint: "I'm fully aware we'll have to run 30% of our population out." This sounds like you're advocating for some sort of forced removal, which is not ok at all on MetaFilter. Sotonohito has addressed that line of thought, so we're letting the original comment stay, but avoid posting those types of comments in the future, or we may have to remove the content and/or issue a ban. MetaFilter is not the place to be posting comments about how it's ok to remove any percentage of a population. If that's not what you meant to write, please clarify your statement and be careful what you write in the future on MetaFilter.

One comment removed for revealing something that happens next episode. Domdib i’ll MeMail you the comment, so you can edit and repost it if you like.

Mod note: Yes, there are a lot of problematic things in this post. But the OP is seeking help and wants to do better, so please focus on those aspects of the question, particularly this bit:

"Where are free places I can go to confidentially share this and start support now to address my own misogynistic behaviour and be the positive male role model when others won't."

One comment removed for joking about shooting someone. Yes, DeepSeaHaggis, Elon is a very unlikable person and has done massive amounts of harm, but it's still against the site's Content Policy to wish violence on someone.

I believe it's important to recognize that some people don't want to have or are not in a headspace to have "constructive conversations", whatever that means. And that's totally understandable with the state of the world these days. When that becomes clear, it's up to the individual to decide if they want continue conversating or move on.

Mostly, be curious instead of right. Instead of "how could you think that?!" instead write "oh, I hadn't considered that, what's your thought process?". Or something like.

Flag comments or posts if there's a derail or someone is being wildly out of pocket.

Aim to have fun or enjoy yourself on the site. It helps you to bring your own good energy to the site and discussions.

One comment removed. Please just answer the question. If your comment is posted solely to crack a joke, just know that it'll be removed, since AskMe has stricter rules than the rest of the site, see the Content Policy.

atoxyl: "Now there is also the “super button” of account wipes. That was originally by request only, I am not sure whether they have added a self-serve option?"

There is not a self serve option. Account wipes do have to be requested by emailing the mods.

One comment removed for mentioning an event in a future episode.

Yeah, it’s tricky with three episodes dropping at once, let’s all do the best we can to talk about the current or past episodes only. If mistakes are made, please just flag them, thanks!

Frimble notified of site slowness.

A comment deleted. Remember that Ask MetaFilter comments should address the main question being asked, as per the content policy.

One comment in the wrong thread deleted.

Fixed a misspelling in the author's name.

A few comments deleted. Remember that Ask MetaFilter comments should address the main question being asked, as per the content policy.

Was something before this comment deleted?

No comments have been deleted from this thread.

Hi samthemander, I’m not seeing any deleted/missing comments as of now. Not sure what’s going down on your end but shoot us an email if need be!

Comment containing spoiler deleted.

One deleted. Poster’s request.

One deleted. Let’s refrain from posting answers using Chat GPT.

Post edited to change dimensions to 15 inches to 55 per an email.

One comment removed. The question has nothing to do with OP's husband, so please avoid commenting on him

One duplicate comment removed.

One comment removed. It's understandable that a landlord that is not the OP would want to explain their postion, but in AskMe the main focus is on the OP and answering their question, all other content may be removed, per the Content Policy.

One commenet removed. Throwing up a quote from Blade Runner, a film from 42 years, with no context, doesn't answer the question at all. If there is a context, please help the OP by explaining what it is as it concerns their question.

*blinks slowly* Ok then, I didn't expect to get a breakdown on how long humans have known and studied bird migration, but hot damn, here we gratefully are. Thanks elgilito, we've added that fantastic knowledge drop to the sidebar and Best Of blog!

Yeah, we've all been there RobinofFrocksley! Thanks for posting this and thank you to everyone who's taken the time to add recommendations, we've added this fabulous foundation of musical fury to the sidebar and Best Of blog!

Thanks for posting this ishmael, we've added it to the sidebar and Best Of blog!

Hey Frowner, thanks for the thoughts on AI, we've added them to the sidebar and Best Of blog!

Couple of comments removed 'cause I goofed and posted about something that occurrs in the next episode, apologies!

This is great and we swear we're not procrasintating by adding this post to the sidebar and Best Of blog!

Interesting discussion and answers, thanks! We've added this to the sidebar and Best Of blog!

Added to sidebar and Best Of blog!

Just to confirm, so there's no confusion, members of the moderation team are paid

SpiffyRob: "Would love to know what observations were made by staff in recent days and what steps, if any, were taken."

Frimble took the site offline for a few minutes around 6am ET time to do some maintenance. They also cleaned up some SQL queries that were running slow. Things have been running running a lot more smoothly all day as a result.

One comment removed. Please avoid revealing details as it's FanFare policy to avoid posting spoilers. Even if you've hidden the spoiler, folks may want to talk about the spoiler in the current thread, so don't post spoilers at all, thank you.

Another comment deleted. Please stick to answering the question being asked.

Hey y’all just pushing this through so people can talk about it, no updates at the moment. I’ve been off for several days, will look more into this issue tomorrow.

Apologies for the continued problems.

One deleted. Posted in wrong thread.

One deleted. Folks, please do not use Ask MeFi to get into a back and forth conversation. The current derail has to stop now, thanks!

One comment deleted at poster's request.

Is there nothing that can be put in place to prevent these bots from scraping the site?

Doesn’t look like there’s anything concrete, but if anyone knows a technique that works, please let us know.

It’s a known problem with no known solutions as far as my research shows.

One comment deleted at member’s request.

Things should be back up to speed, frimble blocked a bunch of AI bots that were scraping the site.

Yes, things are molasses at the moment, frimble has been pinged.

Apologies for the slowness!

One comment removed at the writer's request.

Changed date in post to the 28th

One comment removed due to suicide and/or death ideation lines of thought. If you're thinking or feeling this way please check out the There Is Help links in the wiki.

One comment removed for not answering the question.

Please remember that AskMe's Content Policy has stricter guidelines, where the commnets should focus on answering the question or they may be removed.

One comment deleted. This is a thread about Canada and JD Vance. Let's try to keep it on subject by avoiding comments centered around the US and Kash Patel. Please also check the microaggressions page for more context about US-Centric views and comments.

One comment removed. Seriously, please avoid using ChatGPT or other LLMs on the site.

mephron: "dlugoczaj: thank you, I'll ask the mods to fix it. I apologize." The name has been corrected to Sarah McBride and we've added this fantastic post to the side bar and Best Of blog! Thank you for posting it mephron!

Damn straight we added the best thing in the Star Wars universe to the sidebar and Best Of blog!

Fixed!

Hey, just a heads up that we talked about this previously and have decided to largely ban ChatGPT and its cousins from the site. See this FAQ entry.

One comment removed, please avoid using ChatGPT or any other large language model to give answers, thanks.

Show Only tag removed so that the episode appears with all the others.

Line break added to post to clarify meaning of question.

A note that back-and-forth commenting between OP and users in AskMeFi is discouraged, and any additional excessive chatting will be deleted. OP, please pause on commenting further unless you are providing essential context missing from your question that may help users answer it. Thanks!

Seven Deadly Gins: "I've been lurking this site for what must be 10 or 11 years now, and never made an account, but this whole thing has pissed me off so bad that I'm going to spend 5 bucks to come in here and vent my spleen. So, hi. Bad circumstances but hi."

Thanks for taking the time to sign up and share your thoughts Seven Deadly Gins, we've added your comment to the sidebar and Best Of blog.

One deleted: please answer the question.

Sometimes, that link is behind text in the header and I accidentally select something else when I'm trying to select it and the entire header disappears and I don't know how to get it back. How do I get it back?

Hi, try switching your theme from what it currently is and then back to it and let us know if that works. You can do that in your settings.

Post edited to make it clear that it’s a free thread

Comment removed at user request

Yes, people who are transitioning can request a name change and that change will be automatically applied to all of their comments and posts.

That has been possible for years.

Yes front page Metafilter posts are saved when you click preview aka you can start a draft and finish it later.

This does not work on any other sub-site.

Once comment deleted as requested.

One comment deleted containing harmful and outdated language/terminology.

double comment removed

One deleted. Poster's request.

One double comment deleted.

...now I'm thinking maybe I should leave, after setting this burst off.

I've got some thinking to do.

A lot of members have had positive reactions to what you're posting and the mod team has already spoken about "yeah, keep an eye out for her posts to make sure things don't go off rails 'cause of the bigots."

Ultimately it's up to you and do whatever feels right for you, but your presence and posts have had a positive affect. You're posting for good reasons with good intentions, just remember that you're not responsible for ugly reactions that bigots might have to your posts or comments.

Also, don't feel as though you have to post every week, that can feel like burden and/or lessen the joy.

Kutsuwamushi: " You would easily find these arguments unacceptable if they were applied to black people"

Nope, as a black man born and raised in America, you're dead wrong there. We may disagree in this instance and that's fine, but as black man born and raised in America, I do try to find the best in people and am willing to give some people a chance if I think there's potential for change.

But that's a personal thing, and it doesn't have to be so as moderator if trans members and allies think differently about the tiamat account. So we're making the ban permanent on that with notes and links to the previous 8 comments in this thread to make it clear to any future moderators how the community feels about reinstating that account.

Thank you to everyone for speaking up and expressing their opinion about this, it definitely pushed things to make the ban permanent.

maryellenreads: "My question now it, what's to stop Tiamat from unbuttoning their main or sockpuppet accounts?"

Whether an account is closed by the member or by mods, it can only be reopened by mods.

The HonestAlly-sock account has several notes on it reminding us not to unban it at all. It's permanently closed.

The Tiamat account is noted not to be unbanned unless we have a talk with the user and make it clear that their behavior on trans issues is unacceptable and if we do reopen it, anything vaguely resembling previous behavior will result in a permanent ban.

Toddles: "Thanks - moderators feel free to fix." Fixed!

mrgoat: "An official mod comment explaining if Tiamat button'd themselves..."

They did indeed button the main and sock puppet account themselves.

No deletions made so far, but wanted to note HonestAlly-sock's first comment that is being pushed back against. Let's avoid speaking on behalf of other people and discussing their experience like an academic topic; invite them to speak for themselves instead!

june_dodecahedron: "Yes, mods, will the transphobes from this thread be banned?"


Yes, bluemat and Czjewels have been permanently banned for being transphobic and a note has been left in that thread stating so.

Frimble originally noticed the comments and reached out to the mod on duty, goodnewsfortheinsane, who removed the comments and put a note in the mod Slack requesting another opinion on whether the two accounts should be banned. I happened to be up and noticed what was going on, told gnfti that a perm ban made sense. Gnfti went ahead and did the actual banning, made a goof and temporarily banned fight or flight, Rhaomi pointed that out and the mistake was quickly corrected.

Apologies about that fight or flick, it was a mistake on our part and quickly made right.

Otherwise, yes we are serious about being more aggressive about transphobia on the site. Loup explicitly left a comment on the mod slack about it yesterday: "We should be more aggressive towards these types of comments", in reference to transphobic comments made by The Master and Margarita Mix and CyberSlug Labs, who were permanently banned yesterday.

Hello, MetaFilter moderation staff here. Do not come into this post or anywhere on MetaFilter to gloat about transphobia or be transphobic in any way, shape, or form. The accounts for bluemat and Czjewel have now been permanently banned for doing so. The moderation staff of MetaFilter intends to be more aggressive about dealing with transphobia on the site and much quicker than previously to redirect conversations and assign bans. If you're not sure what transphobia means or is, you're welcome to reach out to the mods with questions. Otherwise, if you're not sure about whether a comment you want to make is transphobic it's perfectly fine to not say anything and just read a thread and learn something.

And another deleted: your trite sloganeering will not stand here.

One comment deleted, at the poster's request.

One transphobic comment and two followups deleted. Absolutely do not with your gloating in here.

Added 'uspolitics' tag

juliebug: "To that end... any updates on the site downtime stuff? "

Looks like it's been database timeout issues. I believe they've been fixed, are you still having issues with site slowness?

sagc: "or do you think this might look, from the outside, like yet another example of immediate mod defensiveness and retrenchment in the face of valid criticism?"

Two users have been banned and it's been fairly clear it was because of transphobia.

That said, I am seeing users breaking the rules/guidelines with the justification that they are in the right for doing so. I don't think that's exactly wrong, but do believe it's important to note and pump the brakes on members breaking rules/guidelines because they believe it's morally justified, end of story. That's line of thought/feeling is completely understandable, but don't want to encourage members feeling that they're morally justifiable to do this whenever they want.

We're probably gonna disagree about that, which is fine, we'll handle these situations as they come up.

brook horse: "It would be helpful to understand if The Master and Margarita Mix did something else to trigger a ban, or if that was how long it took mods to discuss the ban, given they were made aware of at least two transphobic comments on April 6th."

Previously they had been mention in discussions about someone to keep an eye on. When june_dodecahedron brought up their comments this afternoon, I went through their comments again, thought "Yes, it's time for ban", talked it over with loup, who agreed a ban was fine, and so they were banned.

ftrtts: "Brandon Blatcher, do you still stand by your comment that told june_dodecahedron to chill?"

Yes, I stand by my comment, made in moderator role, that told june_dodechedron to stop telling other people to fuck off. That is a rule on the site, has been for a while.

The feeling and desire to say that is understandable, but we do want to members to avoid deciding who deserves to be told to fuck off. 'Cause that tends to slide down to personal interactions ("you don't like my comment? Well, F off or F you!") so we tend to discourage that anywhere on the site

Good question and fascinating conversation, so of course it's been added to the sidebar and Best Of blog!

Were the mods actually planning to ban this user before this metatalk post went up?

Yep.

We aim to avoid having one person ban a member with no conversation with other mods so that no person is dispensing bans as they see fit. So I gave CyberSlug Labs a week off to prevent them from saying anything else on the site, emailed them why there getting the temp ban, and that a permanent ban was being discussed.

I was pretty sure the other mods would agree with the ban, just wanted to touch bases with them to get that full agreement. It was a pretty short conversation.

Yes an argument could made that I should have just gone ahead and banned them, but again, it's important that we're not out here being total cowboys when banning people. Plus I was rocking a helluva head cold and felt a second opinion wouldn't hurt anything as long as CyberSlub Labs could no long post in the meantime.

june_dodecahedron: "@loup, the poster of the previous transphobic comment I flagged, were they banned? If not, why not?"

That user, The Master and Margarita Mix, has now been banned.

Were the mods actually planning to ban this user before this MetaTalk post went up?
Yes, totally. I met with Brandon this morning and we agreed to ban them for good.

Transphobia needs to be grounds for an immediate and irreversible ban. Nothing less will do.

Yes, a full ban is in order. Transphobia has no place here. Period. The temporary ban while the moderation team discussed the issue was a decision to stop the user right there and allow some time for us to discuss collectively, not because we need to decide our stance when it comet to transphobic content, but because we take full ban seriously and discuss them together as a team.

Duplicate comment deleted.

One comment deleted as requested.

Duplicate comment deleted.

BlueHorse: "Stupid hag. I could have had 1/1000th of empathy for her actually being afraid to face a stronger opponent with more reach due to body proportion and losing. But having competed with men the week before some of who were no doubt taller, stronger, and perhaps more talented than Sullivan, she was just being a bitch." BlueHorse, this type of sexist language is not ok MetaFilter, it violates our Content Policy, which is there to make it clear that the site is not a haven for hate speech. Please avoid using this type of language in the future, as it may lead to removal of content and/or a ban. For now I'm leaving the comment up to make it clear what's occurred. I'm assigning a day long ban and sending this note to your email.

woman: "How is it possible for Jews to use the phrase "never again" without understanding how they are participating in a modern day atrocity?" Just following up on this comment and what other members have pointed out: Painting Jewish people as a monolithic block is anti-semitic. Not all Jews agree with the Israeli government. Not all Jews support various actions of the Israeli military. Anyone who said all blacks agree with "X" would be quickly condemned as racist, so please be cognizant of your thoughts and language when speaking of the Jewish people.